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Uncle Mickey's 10-commandments

 

Hello Uncle Mickey fans! (Both of us)  Here are a few helpful tips to help you
in life.  Just a few things I have learned.  I'll share my experience to
make your life easier.  Anything I can do to help society makes me feel a
little better.  Here goes:

1. Never go on blind dates under any circumstances.  You never know what
lurks behind that door until you open it. Then itís too late.

2.  Always use rubbers.  I know they are a pain; they smell funny, irritate
the shit out of you but so do kids.  And rubbers are cheaper.

3.  Never show one of your best friends your unit.  It will scar the
relationship forever, not to mention your friends fragile little mind!

4.  Never play chicken.  Especially when you are the one not it a car.  Itís
never good to challenge a motor vehicle with your body.

5.  Donít juggle glass bottle when you are drunk.  It usually turns into a
drunken house cleaning project, and possibly a few glass shards in the feet.

6.  If you have roommates, never scream like a woman during sex. Unless of
course you are a woman. It creates very disturbing images in the roommateís
imagination.

7.  Donít throw up on your friends.  I know it is fun but it sometimes sets
of a chain reaction.

8.  No matter what, never take a dare to do shots of ever clear.  If anyone
dares you and you accept, that means you are drunker than they are and they
need to do it to catch up.

9.  If you are drunk and stranded never ever call a drunk person to come and
pick you up.  It sounds like a good idea at the time, but trust me, you will
always wonder, "what the hell was I thinkingĒ that is of course if either of
you lives to regret it.

And finally...
10.  Never ever ever ever get married.  Itís a lot like being a little
kid without the good memories.  You always have someone telling you what to
do, and you canít figure out why you are in trouble.

These are the Uncle Mickey Ten Commandments.

Uncle Mickey out

 

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