Uncle Mickey here again to tell you how it is or should be! what is
on with the Texas Rangers? They seem a little lost right now. I
new GM John Hart has a little more work to do before we can correctly
his performance. It just seems this team is cursed when it comes to
pitching. The Rangers recently acquired Carl Everett for lefty
Oliver. Now I know what you are thinking, "why are they trading
pitchers?" Well, Mr. Oliver really shouldn't call himself
a pitcher. He
sucks like Pamela Anderson her honeymoon. That guy was freaking
If I was the Manager of the Rangers last year, I would have told him he
fired. Hell, I would have taken him to court for
re-imbursement for his
salary! His stats are horrible, but they make him sound much better
actually was. I feel so sorry for the fans in Boston when they waste
hard earned dollars on tickets when Oliver pitches. I would like to
congratulate the Rangers on finally taking out the trash. Now,
bad part: we just got more trash in return. Carl Everett is what we
return for Oliver. I would say this trade was about like taking a
dump in a
gas station stall and trading turds with the guy in the next stall.
only difference is Everett is lower than the shit you would get in return
from that guy in the other stall. He is a sorry M.F. He
practices, he cant get along with any of his coaches, his teammates didn't
even like him. Everett has consistently been a pain in the ass of
umpires in the league. He even smacked an umpire with the bill of
in one nasty little fit he had. This guy is a complete asshole.
gets punished for missing practices or missing busses to the stadium he
wont even accept his fines or suspensions without crying that he is a
of racism. My guess is that he is right, everybody hates dickheads.
guess his managers are trying to keep the dickhead down. To make
worse he isn't even that good. He has had one good year, other than
is average at best. Who knows if he will have another good year?
he has a few. Maybe that would make him worth putting up with.
At least we
got rid of Oliver and his hefty contract. Now if we can just get
head out of his ass. Texas still needs some more pitching help but,
rid of the worst pitcher on the staff is a good start. I could be
I think the Rangers might be better by subtracting a pitcher. With
out, that opens the door for some of the young guys to get in there and
if they have what it takes in this league. It's going to be an
off season, its already seen quite a few additions to the team and Gm Hart
says he isn't finished yet. Other possible players who could be
included Gabe Kapler, Frank Catalanotto, Rusty Greer, and Ivan Rodriguez.
IRod will most likely be kept until the team finds out if it is in the
playoff hunt. Rusty might be safe because of his age, contract, and
history. Kapler and Catalanotto should be out of here. Not
that I want
them gone but, it looks like they are the most tradable players the
have in the majors. There are a few hot prospects in the minors but
believe they will be traded unless someone offers a major stud of a
Lets hope there is no stoppage of play next
season with a possible lock
out or strike but, if there is the Red Sox fans should feel lucky they
have to see Darren Oliver pitch. I guess they have a little to cheer
did unload the biggest jerk in the league since Joey Belle retired.
If the Rangers start the season slow again they
will probably trade
Pudge Rodriguez. That will be a sad day for Rangers fans. Lets
that if that happens they don't trade him for another asshole like
one last thing before Uncle Mickey lets you go: lets all pray for John
to have better luck than all the previous General Managers we have had at
"spending some money and getting some pitching in here".
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