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More thoughts from Cafe-Paradise's sports personality, 'Uncle  Mikey'
  

 

     

Whatís up fellow sports fans/idiots.  Anyone out there think Nate Newton
wants a do over?  Heehee.  Man I suck to be Big Newt right now.  Just hope he doesnít drop the soap.  What the hell was he thinking?  Damn Nate, 213 pounds wasnít enough?  Maybe he was so stoned he forgot he was going to trial.  Some people are so stupid itís unbelievable.  I canít imagine one thing that would make it worth risking more prison time for a bunch of weed.  The only thing worse than being Big Newt is being a member of the Taliban.  I donít know who is more fucked though.  I guess Nate will learn his lesson the "hard" way.  Heeeehheee hahaha.  Thatís what happens to people who are stupid enough to get caught.  You ever wonder how much he ate before the cops found it?  Maybe thatís why he weighs 400 pounds.  Nate is definitely the most interesting character left from the good ole days.  Irvin, Aikman, and Emmitt are kinda boring these days.  Leon Lett is supposedly sober this year, but it doesnít matter because he isnít a Cowboy anymore.  They cut Kareem Larimore, so whoís left to get into trouble?  I guess Newt will have to do.   Is it just me or does it look like Nate and Newey Scruggs are twins?  Has anyone ever seen them together?  Never see them in the same place at the same time.  Hmmmm coincidence?  I think not.  Maybe Nate ate Newey?  You never know, it could happen.  I am sure he will be eating a lot more guys named Newey before long!!!  Hahahaaha.  Sucks to be him.  At least he can always say "I AM SOMEBODY'S BITCH!"  Heís got that going for him. 
Maybe he thought he was supposed to impersonate the guys in the movie HALF BAKED. Oh well, better him than me.

 

Uncle Mikey.. out

 

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