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Uncle
Mickey's 10-commandments
Hello
Uncle Mickey fans! (Both of us) Here are a few helpful tips to help
you
in life. Just a few things I have learned. I'll share my
experience to
make your life easier. Anything I can do to help society makes me
feel a
little better. Here goes:
1. Never go on blind dates under any circumstances. You never know
what
lurks behind that door until you open it. Then it’s too late.
2. Always use rubbers. I know they are a pain; they smell
funny, irritate
the shit out of you but so do kids. And rubbers are cheaper.
3. Never show one of your best friends your unit. It will scar
the
relationship forever, not to mention your friends fragile little mind!
4. Never play chicken. Especially when you are the one not it
a car. It’s
never good to challenge a motor vehicle with your body.
5. Don’t juggle glass bottle when you are drunk. It usually
turns into a
drunken house cleaning project, and possibly a few glass shards in the
feet.
6. If you have roommates, never scream like a woman during sex.
Unless of
course you are a woman. It creates very disturbing images in the
roommate’s
imagination.
7. Don’t throw up on your friends. I know it is fun but it
sometimes sets
of a chain reaction.
8. No matter what, never take a dare to do shots of ever clear.
If anyone
dares you and you accept, that means you are drunker than they are and
they
need to do it to catch up.
9. If you are drunk and stranded never ever call a drunk person to
come and
pick you up. It sounds like a good idea at the time, but trust me,
you will
always wonder, "what the hell was I thinking” that is of
course if either of
you lives to regret it.
And finally...
10. Never ever ever ever get married. It’s a lot like being
a little
kid without the good memories. You always have someone telling you
what to
do, and you can’t figure out why you are in trouble.
These are the Uncle Mickey Ten Commandments.
Uncle Mickey out
Got
an opinion? Let us
know!
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e-mail Uncle Mickey? Click Here
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Cafe-Paradise.com
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